Bobbi Brown Long-Wear Gel Eyeliner

While I'll use a pencil eyeliner in a pinch and always have one in my bag, my go to move is always either a "gel" or just a dark eyeshadow. I think the pencil is way harder and if you can't draw in a straight line, using a brush is 100 times easier. Gel eyeliners are all the rage now but I'm pretty sure Bobbi Brown was first. They come in colors you haven't even thought of yet and go on so smoothly it'really easy to apply without looking like an idiot. They'll try to sell you the "appropriate gel eyeliner brush" with it but the version that Sephora makes is cheaper and actually a lot better. 

Kate Middleton

I've been saving my ode to Kate Middleton for a while now. It seems fitting to discuss her when there's all this buzz about how she gets her hair blown out 3 times a week. The amount of websites talking about this as if it's a bad thing is insane. She's a PRINCESS. If I were her, I'd have my hair dresser of choice move into the palace and do my hair every single morning (sometimes again in the afternoon if it's especially steamy out). She even goes to the salon herself instead of making them come to her which is so normal I can't even stand it. 

Benetint Lip Balm

My mother always told me that I wasn't "really wearing makeup" unless I had lipstick on. The best I was willing to do was Aquafor because lipstick seemed a bit "mature" for me. Benetint lip balm from Benefit is a happy medium. It's basically Vaseline with a cherry tint. Nothing extreme, just a little pop of color and a ton of moisturizing action. 

I Got Robbed...No Big Deal

Ok, he wasn't wearing a mask but my phone was still stolen. 

Last Thursday, (yes, I needed a week to compose myself before writing this) I was walking to the subway on 7th Avenue when a 14-year old boy ripped my phone out of my hand. At first I tried to stand my ground and not let go. HUGE MISTAKE. He then proceeded to twist it out of my hand anyway and I really would have liked to avoid the wrist injury. 

I'd like to say that I man'd up, chased him down and got my phone back. Unfortunately, I stood on the street corner hysterically crying while he turned around to laugh at me before sprinting off into the crowd. Way to kick a girl when she's down! I immediately went into crazed survival mode. I took the subway to Grand Central and tried to find a payphone. Do you know how to use a payphone anymore? Because I sure don't. $3 worth of quarters later my mother had hung up on me three times because she didn't recognize the number and couldn't understand the crying freak on the phone. Mission failed. Quarterless, teary-eyed I boarded my train home to try to pick up the shambles of my life. 

Yes, yes I know what you're saying. "It's just a phone." Well you can suck it! While I'm unnaturally attached to my phone it wasn't about that. My entire sense of security has been completely shattered. I fell asleep on the train holding my iPad and when it fell a little because I was passed out, I immediately assumed someone was robbing me and jumped out of my seat like a lunatic. 

Moral of the story: keep your phone in your pocket or carry a knife...your choice.

Joan Rivers...An Icon

This woman is amazing! After she stopped hosting the red carpet shows she kind of fell off the map for me but between her shows Fashion Police and Joan & Melissa and her new book I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me, she's back with a vengeance. 

I read her book in a day and a half and laughed out loud the entire time. She's honest and ridiculous and I hope I'm as fabulous when i'm her age!

The Fault in Our Stars

I am not a crier. Just never been my thing. Obviously, there's an exception to every rule but I'm fairly sure a book has never made me cry. Until now. This book was amazing and I'm so glad that my friend Gi told me to read it (even though the crying took place while at work which is less than ideal).

Saving Max

This book combines my deep love with medical and legal story lines. A boy determined to be mental unstable is accused of murder while at a mental institution and his high powered lawyer mother tries to prove his innocence. Could I ask for more???

Girls

By and large, the coolest thing about this show is that it's written, starred in and directed by someone who's my age. I'm barely functional and she has her own show-no fair! 

Hannah-Aside from her hideous "children's book illustration tattoos" is the perfect character. She's funny without trying too hard and just chock full of terrible life decisions that make us all feel better about our own lives. Also, when she fell of Adam's bike I may have laughed for ten minutes and kept replaying it (I'm rude like that). 

Marnie-She's the person every hot mess like Hannah needs to make sure she doesn't end up on welfare and is always wearing clean underwear. She's annoyingly pretty and is clearly far too poised to be part of this little group. Like all "proper" girls, she occasionally has a melt down or does unknown drugs and gets stuck to a pole which only makes her more appealing. 

Jessa-This may be the only character I can honestly say I completely dislike. I've never had much patience for the "free spirit" so it comes as no shock to me that I find her "I'm a citizen of the world" persona to be tremendously irritating. O yeah, and her clothes never match.

Shoshanna-I clearly saved the best for last. She's an obvious favorite just because she's so completely tragic. She accidentally smoked crack, lost her skirt and beat up Ray as if he was the mattress that she learned self defense on. LOVE. 

St. Ives Apricot Scrub

Possibly the only thing I like better than I good scrub is a good CHEAP scrub. Over the years I've learned that there's not much difference between a scrub you buy at a department store and one you get at CVS. The St. Ives Apricot Scrub is both amazing and cheap making it perfect in my book. For years, I overlooked it because it's most often found on the bottom shelf which I generally associate with loser products. Clearly I was wrong since this scrub is gentle yet leaves you feeling super clean!